london calling


I’ve given this post a misleading title. And photo. This post has nothing to do with London.

Get ready for an explanatory run-on sentence. Deep breath. I just discovered Jurek Nems’ beautiful photography site in which he has a bunch of London photos which reminded me of Holly’s love for London which reminded me of Holly’s most recent post which reminded me that she tagged me in that post which reminded me that I needed to write my tagged post which reminded me that I needed to come up with a better title than Tagged 2 which lead me to call this post London Calling and to stick a Jurek Nems photo in here. Exhale.

So, having very unnecessarily explained all of that, I give you six interesting facts about David Lesue:

Fact! David Lesue’s small intestine is made entirely of gray felt and braided leather.

Fact! David Lesue once killed a local hobo just to watch him die. David then brought the drifter back to life (through a combination of CPR and licorice salves) only to kill him again. Instantly. With his eyes.

Fact! David Lesue only eats beef jerky and Score candy bars—but only after they’ve been soaked in a low fat yogurt brine.

Fact! David Lesue’s car has never been washed by the hand of man.

Fact! David Lesue’s hearing is so finely-tuned that he can hear you getting bored with this post right now.

Fact! David Lesue graduated from the University of Lemon Pudding with a degree in Deliciousness.

As you have now realized, these facts are not factual in any way, were heavily influenced by Chuck Norris Facts, and are not nearly as funny as their author thinks they are.

Now, because I know that Holly will not be satisfied with such obviously false—though interesting—facts, I give you six actual facts that are much less interesting:

Fact! David Lesue loves popcorn. He especially loves kettle corn.

Fact! David Lesue doesn’t read as much as he used to. He tells himself that this is because he doesn’t have as much free time as he once had, but he suspects that this is an excuse invented by a lazy mind that has grown fat on sitcoms and reality television.

Fact! David Lesue hasn’t realized how close Christmas is. Those he will be giving gifts to will pay the price for this in the form of hastily purchased knickknacks and trinkets.

Fact! David Lesue wears the same pair of jeans almost every day.

Fact! David Lesue is terrified by the rate at which his girls are growing up. He dreads far-off milestones like their baptisms, missions, and marriages that he knows will feel—at least partly—like syllables in a drawn-out goodbye.

Fact! David Lesue is tired, craving a bag of kettle corn, and—like you—relieved to have reached the end of this post.

  1. Brooke

    …like syllables in a drawn out goodbye…

    wow. that’s gold.

  2. Holly

    Fact! David Lesue makes Holly Lesue laugh and love him more and more everyday.

  3. Katrina

    You Lesue’s are funny!

    Holly, I pick things up with my toes too. It’s such a handy habit. And Dave, I rediscovered the joy of kettle corn just last week. Mmmmm, that’s good eatin’.

  4. Holly

    I was crying from laughing so hard at some of the Chuck Norris facts.

    These are my three favorite Chuck Norris facts:

    1. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

    2. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

    3. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

    Dave, maybe Santa will bring you a t-shirt for Christmas with a Chuck Norris fact on it.

  5. Mom K

    David, you have such a crazy, creative head. I KNOW you should one day (when you don’t work 24/7) do cartoons!

    Thanks for the laughter, ending with a sentimental touch (the best kind).

    There’s a great line from SM on this–ask Holl.

  6. Jody

    When I was reading this, in my mind I sounded exactly like Dwight Schrute.

  7. courtneyb

    chuck norris is on t.v. ALL the time here! I couldn’t figure out why the Italian dig him so much until now that I have learned those facts!

  8. Sarah

    I told Steve that you love kettle corn and he said, “I want to snuggle with Dave now” -that’s guy love right there.

  9. carol

    I loved all the facts and loved your post because….
    Fact! Nobody tagged me to do a fact post because they knew I am so flakey I wouldn’t do it. But I do love reading everyone elses:)

  10. Holly

    Carol, consider yourself tagged!!

  11. carol

    Oh no no no no…I think it is illegal to tag someone in someone else’s post in the comment section. I think I am still safe;)

  12. Holly

    you are safe if you want to be safe. if you want to be tagged, consider yourself tagged. like we talked about today, i’m sure you have tons of free time like i do since we have all our christmas stuff done!

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