Last year we were in a similar boat (losing our primary income) and through a dark couple months, we emerged in a much better, much happier situation.

And Jack—WOW! Thanks for contributing, it was so nice to hear from you! And I must say, unless you have changed a lot in the last ten years (which is entirely possible) I would never consider you to be preachy. And I seriously mean that in the best possible way.

Love you guys! You all will be in my prayers! Oh and I have this floor….haha!

Carol and Joe’s advice is absolutely great. I have one other thing to add. Your post mentioned that you and Dave had come to this decision after much prayer. I think there is great solace in this. It sucks how it all went down and sucks that you feel bad about it. It’s a total bummer and I truly am sorry. Going back to the prayer aspect, my advice would be to rely on the faith that you had when you made this decision in the first place. Remind yourself of the Spirit and peace that you felt when you knew that you were making the right decision. Allow opportunities to feel the Spirt and to let it bring peace to your hearts to know that things will work out for you. Best of luck. Things will work out for you. I know it.

Jack McKinley
P.S. What have you been up for the last 10 years since we last saw each other? Just kidding…

Too many people have to learn the hard way that there is no such thing as loyalty in today’s work world. As bad as it may sound, it can only ever be about *you* when it comes to your career. Not in a selfish, calculating, cynical way, but in an “always making yourself your first priority” sort of way.

Most people believe that by being dependable and working hard for a company, you would receive some reciprocal amount of respect or loyalty, but it just isn’t true anymore. Certainly, many companies do treat their employees well, but you can also be assured that as soon as you are no longer important to the bottom line, you will be gone in a New York minute. Even non-profit charities aren’t in the business of giving away money to their employees.

The truth is, people get unceremoniously dismissed from their jobs every day for reasons ever more capricious than this, especially when such decisions are subject to the whims of an owner or manager who doesn’t know how to build teams and manage people.

You have to be somewhat hardened to that reality, like the athlete who, after he gets traded, laments that they wanted to stay, but after all, “it’s just a business.”

Then, at your next job, don’t think that you can earn loyalty by being dependable. Instead, blow people away with your abilities so you become indispensable in their eyes. That is really the only way to have true job security (if there is such a thing). James’ time at Pulte is a good example of this. Even with the single family market in the toilet and widespread layoff massacres at builders across the country (especially in high-priced markets like DC), he was so good at his job that after multiple rounds of layoffs he was literally standing alone like the cheese and the end of the Farmer in the Dell. They fired literally everyone else around him and had him doing the job of 3 or 4 people when he finally left on his own. It wasn’t fair that everyone else lost their jobs just because of macro-level market realities and the local management’s inability to correctly manage their growth, but the point is that James was safe no matter what.

So, my advice is:

1. Make sure you apply immediately for unemployment, which your former employer has to verify with the state to get it flowing. I suspect there is a chance Dave’s former company will think they don’t have to do this.
2. Pound the pavement hard and take the first decent job that comes your way, because you need cash flow. Once you are there, become a rock star. Create the situation where if your manager gets wind that you might be looking elsewhere, he/she begs you to stay instead of looks to replace you.
3. Go into what I call “crisis mode,” which means you eliminate all discretionary spending and stick to a strict budget, until you get the cash flowing again. Don’t deplete your savings/rainy day fund a penny more than you have to.
4. If you first take a job that isn’t quite exactly what you want to do, continue to look for one that better suits you and don’t feel bad about leaving a company shortly after you join them. Unless they are going to front load you with a lot of expensive training (and those that do will usually have you sign a payback agreement if you leave before a certain time–they’re not stupid), don’t feel bad about leaving a job soon after you join. You don’t owe anybody anything (except yourself) and it’s not like they won’t get their money’s worth while you’re there.
5. Enjoy whatever time off you might have, because it doesn’t happen too often.

Most of all, don’t get too down on yourselves. This kind of thing happens all the time, and Carol’s suggestions about forgiveness are spot on. Coming to terms with it is important, but ultimately you have to move beyond it, grab the world by the tail and determine your own course.

Good luck!